Thursday, May 5, 2011

Bad Blogger but getting the hang of Twitter

Every day I intend to write on this blog.  God knows I have enough to say...I'm just finding that my days are much too short and my energy diminished.  Still trying to get back to normal after surgery, still trying to recover all that has been neglected for the past year and still falling behind.  Healing is hard.

It has taken most of the slack out of my life.  Every idea is bound to whether or not I have the energy to capitalize on it.  I am puttering out before I get it all to the surface.  It is extremely frustrating.  I told my friend Beth this week that I feel like in many ways that this time of my life is designed for me to give all I have to others--even if it means very little left over for myself at the end of the day. It doesn't even seem right to moan about it.  One day I'll get some freedom back, right?  Right?!

Maybe it is worse because I had so much time and was so unencumbered for so many years before I was married with children.  There were many years when I had to answer to no one but myself. 

Don't misunderstand--I'm not unhappy, just want to feel some wind in my face.  I need some wilderness and a little too much to drink.  Just once and a while and then I'll go back to being supersolid.

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