Thursday, December 29, 2011

Update: No, I'm not dead

So here's the thing...I had back surgery in November 2010 and 2011 has been extremely difficult.  On a fairly regular basis, I cannot lift my legs without excruciating pain.  I cannot work when this happens.  I cannot drive or walk unassisted.  And the worse part is...they don't know what is wrong.  I did learn (by Oct I demanded a CT scan) that my bones did not fuse to the hardware.  So, I've been wearing this crazy looking belt that is supposed to stimulate bone growth.  I've been wearing it for months...four hours a day.  So all this is to say--I've had a really, really, really tough year and my writing and creative pursuits have taken a backseat to survival.

Big Hairy and sometimes scary, but always informative lessons learned in 2011:

  • Do not be passive with Doctors.  Make yourself an informed and pushy advocate.
  • No matter what--change happens and the best you can do sometimes is hold on and wait until it is safe to stick out your head--so that you can learn how to adapt. Maybe you don't want to adapt once you have a clear picture of how things have changed...
  • My worth is not equal to my net worth. I am more than my job, my bank balance or what is in my IRA.
  • If you want something you are not getting, it is your responsibility to ask for it. Then, if you are turned down--you can decide whether or not you are willing or able to live with less.
  • You never finish learning how to be the best you. No matter how much work you do to understand yourself and the world--you will often be wrong and when that happens...humility and honesty will help you not get stuck in your growth. Discovering you were wrong is a gift...a chance to reflect and begin new patterns.
  • Miss Piggy still rocks.
  • Netflix = Prime example of being wrong
  • Green Lantern wasn't as good a film as Captain America. And Thor beat them both.
  • Twitter is my new addiction. If you are thinking..."I don't get it, why would you want to be restricted to 140 characters to express yourself."  Here is the thing: it is kinda like a game to get it all in. Plus, you know news before the Washington Post tweets about it.
  • I did do all my FB reunions and it was lovely. In 2012, I plan to keep it up.
  • Occupy Wall Street is a natural expression to what happened in 2008 and the thirty years of inequality before it. You can only screw the little guys & gals for so long before something breaks to the surface.
  • The Arab Spring is more complicated than many of us hoped.
  • The Republican party is determined to exterminate itself by embracing radical ideas that most Americans do not share.  Changing demographics will render them obsolete unless they make a major change in how they respond to people of color, the unemployed, the poor, the hungry and those yearning to be free...
  • San Fransisco is my favorite city in the US. I've been to a lot of great cities in my wonderful country...but I have never fallen in love so completely.
  • Battlestar Galactica and The Wire are both excellent resources to use when teaching Ethics and Political Science.
  • My entire family--cousins, grandparents, nieces & nephews, uncles, aunts, brother & mother--they are every one a blessing to me.
  • People go crazy when a plump person loses a lot of weight...causing said plumb person to wonder what they were thinking before and didn't say.
  • My oldest son is obsessed with origami. It is so precise it would give me a migraine. He also loves Pink Floyd and Queen. My daughter is a little pleaser and started Kindergarten. She is hyper-focused on achieving the highest "color" in the behavioral system they have in the classroom. She wants to be the "bestest girl." Where did that come from?  My youngest is too handsome for his own good and seeks mischief. He can also hurt you (just turned 4). He is a bit of a bruiser.
  • I am the luckiest woman in the world because I am married to a man that loves me, accepts me & can be creative with me. We will launch a project in early 2012 that is just too cool for words. It has been incredible to step away from our regular roles and just be two creative people wanting to do something that matters. We also slayed a lot of dragons this year and came out more in love than ever.
  • He and I must find a regular the kiddos are older now and we are seriously deprived of fun.  We haven't spent a night together and away from them EVER.  This isn't healthy and by crook or claw...I'm gonna find a way for us to be adults sometimes.
  • I am and will always be a Superman person. Yes, the Dark Knight is intoxicating. But, Clark will always hold my heart. People who are idealists are shunned and mocked in our society, but Clark never lets go of the belief that humanity is worth saving. I want my Superheroes to not require therapy.
  • The strides that have been made for the LGBT community are stunning and I could not be more pleased about it. I have long been an advocate for equal treatment and the right to marry and not be kicked out of the service. So--not so sad to see you go DADT.
  • My biggest comforts (outside of my family) come from books and I've read too many good ones to list. Also have been overwhelmed with the fantastic Americana music that seems to be garnering a bit more attention and praise. 
I hope you are well dear readers...full of love and a vibrant thirst for life.  If not, why not? What is standing in your way and what can you do to get over it, under it or through it? How can you live a more authentic life? I'm always trying to figure it out. I stumble, screw up, stutter and shut down. As I tell my students, the screw up isn't where your focus should be...everyone screws up. All that matters is what you do next. Chin up people--there is lots to do.

1 comment:

  1. You the non-conformist, free spirit love Superman! Me the ex-Goldman girl love the Dark Knight and any flawed hero.....I thrive on heroes who require not only therapy but jailtime and Lithium. My favorites: David (from the Bible - so deeply flawed), Johnny Cash (wounded & broken). I love men who are strong but broken. *sigh* Listen to that pitiful idealism......ugh.