Sunday, December 5, 2010

The beauty of my husband

We have Direct TV and about 1.000 movies and shows on our version of Tivo.  The funny thing is that you can get info on each the stars, other movies you might like, the director and how many stars it gets...

I never record anything with less than four stars...I'm a film snob.  I couldn't deny it if I wanted to...but Paul doesn't trust the rating he'll record movies with one and a half stars and then watch them--just to see if they are as bad as advertised.  Even stranger...if he thinks it was unfairly judged...he'll keep it and watch it again--just to make sure it was as bad or not as bad as he originally thought.

Now I know this may not mean much to you...but what it tells me about him (which is one of the thousands of reasons I'm still  madly in love with him) is that he doesn't trust "experts" and insists on giving animals, people, films and everything else his own stamp or approval or disapproval.  Opinions from others mean nothing to him. 

Another couple of things I love about him that also drive me crazy...he is the most stubborn person I've ever met once he settles on an opinion.  He is fixed in what he believes.  Thank the Universe that we agree on most things politically and religiously or we'd be in constant combat.  One more thing, he is not fond of America and is genuinely devastated that his children will attend schools here that require the Pledge of Allegiance.  He finds this to be a bit North Korea-ish.  He asked if we could request our children not participate and I tried to explain that even tho they hold dual would  be a massive kerfuffle to refuse and would require the ACLU and everyone in our town would hate us.  Now, I don't agree with this...I grew up reciting the Pledge every day and I'm not a brainwashed zombie...I love my country--despite its many flaws.  But, having to defend America all the time is exhausting.  Ireland has its own problems (I have to remind him).

When a person emigrates to another country, they tend to romanticize their homeland,.  Paul came here in December of 2001 and doesn't really understand how much the country has changed since 9/11.  America was different when I was growing up--before computer, before cable, before Atari, before Walter Cronkite ceased to be the voice of the country.  I've been all over this country and I don't think any country has more natural beauty and diversity.  Also, most Americans that I've met are decent and will do the right thing.

Some of you know that for 12 years I worked as a Social Worker with the "dregs of society"--the homeless, the drug addicts, the severely and persistently mentally ill, he imprisoned, the recently freed from prison, sex offenders, domestic violence offenders...always I worked with the perpetrators...never the victims.  And even after twelve years of seeing people at the absolute worst...I still saw lots of them striving to be better.  Unfortunately the work about killed me...but, it taught me the even criminals have gifts.

Maybe one day Paul will find more things he likes about America (doubtful--as I said he is fixed in his opinions)...but he stays here because his family is here and there are more opportunities here than at home.  He does find the land beautiful and of course no one can compare to us in the entertainment department.  He still pretty much only listens to Irish music, with a little Queen and Abba (yes, Abba) thrown in.  I don't want him to be Americanized...I like it just fine that his brogue is still thick and that he is teaching the kids songs you sing in pubs. 

Also, he is taking excellent care of me when I'm unable to care for myself or the children.   He cares for my mother.  He is amazingly talented, highly intelligent and funny.  Also, sexy--this cannot be overstated.  And he'd absolutely FREAK if he knew I was writing about him--he is insanely private...but, after years and years of toads, I found a prince and am eternally grateful to see him every morning.

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